SOMEBODY CALL THE QUEEN! PRINCESS RIHANNA’S HAIR’S ALL A TANGLE!”

Singer Rihanna has asked on more than one occasion, “Ooh na na, what’s my name?” Well, if you must know, I think it’s Stupid…Royally Stupid!

Granted, I know very little about the Pop superstar (sorry Ri, I mean MEGAsuperstar) except that at some point she must have really pissed off a fellow Popper (I think his initials are C.B. but this has nothing to do with him). IT’S ALL ABOUT REEEEEEEEEEHANNNNNNNNNNA!

Listen up poor-to-average Joe’s of the world: Rich girl Ri recently blew $23 000 to have her personal hairdresser flown, FIRST CLASS…FROM LONDON (yes, England!)…to LOS ANGELES (as in California). Holy Schwarzenegger!

It seems silly Ri took a dip in her 5* hotel pool and followed that up with a sit in the sauna and an ahh in the spa. Well, if that wasn’t enough to put the angle in tangle…What a hair-raising experience…I tease you knot!

Oh, I know…she tried her best to make things right. She applied copious amounts of conditioner (she should have known that  that complimentary 5* stuff is crap)…she combed and combed…alas, nothing! Even Rapunzel would have felt sorry for her BUT IN ALL LIKELIHOOD WOULD HAVE RECOMMENDED SOME VERY CAPABLE LOCAL L.A. STYLIST!

“Tomorrow I have a t.v. appearance!” she may have blubbered. “Call Ursula (surname Stephen…obviously the only qualified person on the planet) right now and tell her to get her  British butt over here pronto! I need her…..NOW!”

Well, who’s going to buck the whimsical wishes of Medusa herself?…look her right in the eye and suggest, “I know a great hairdresser just down the street. It’ll be a lot quicker.” (Not if you want to be turned into stone and thrown back onto the street, from whence you cometh!) “Ursula it is!” our most regal Rihanna. Talk about your Queen-For-A-Day hair-lift! Money is no object for this beauty queen. I trust, dear reader, that you would agree with the Ri…after all, stars of her stature should surely get everything they want…

Unless, of course you’re Mick Jagger who has tried to ‘sell’ us otherwise or one of us average-to-poor Joe’s who refuses to relish her kind of royally-rich, ridiculous rants and over-the-top dubious demands.

The verdict is in: the twenty-three thousand dollars in question was enough to have purchased over 300 healthy goats for Third World families who have learned to put personal grooming second to scavenging for their next meal. 50 000 pints of milk could have been donated to any one of so many Breakfast or Lunch programmes right here in our ‘Hood”. Ten or more  war veterans, returning home, a limb or two short, could have been fitted with protheses. So many possibilities; so little consideration. One GIANT mistake…

Rihanna leaves little doubt that she, above all others, is THE true Queen of Poop!

*****By the way, if anyone has any other ideas on how Ri could have better spent her $23 000, I’d be happy to hear them…I’ll publish the best in an upcoming blog.

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